At the age of three
I experienced existential ennui
At the age of four
Poetic metaphor
At the age of five
I learned to jive
Way, way, way more fun!
Juhan Puhm, December 31, 2022

I am eating 25 year old cheddar
At the same time
As I am transcribing almost 25 year old poems!
Juhan Puhm, December 15, 2022

When I was younger
I had a much angrier
Sharper edge
It was assuaged by love
Juhan Puhm, January 8, 2023

The only thing keeping this place
From being an absolute madhouse
Is a belief in the beyond
If we all thought we annihilated
Then chaos and anarchy
Would rule the day
Juhan Puhm, January 14, 2023

Old Sam B.
There is a world as rich as a loaf of bread
Just baked, warm, and smelling wonderful, melting butter
Torn and crisp and chewy and soft and golden

And what does old Sam Beckett give us? sawdust

But what of the steaming, fresh loaf of bread?

Here is sawdust says Sam

What of the heart and mind and soul the bread nourishes?

Here is more sawdust

And the memories and hands that knead the dough?

Here is even more sawdust, piles of it

And the rising dough, and the hitting down and the rising again

Is there anything else but sawdust?

And the warming of the oven and the greasing of the pan

Surely sawdust is all there is...

And the braiding, and brushing with butter and slivered almonds

...and will ever be

And the room growing warm and the smell of raw dough
Become the scent of fresh baked bread
Filling the room
Our heart, our soul, our comfort, our love!
Juhan Puhm, November 18, 2022

My Aunt's bookshelf has a thousand expensive
Leather bound books of all the classics
Many I have read
But so, so, so many more I haven't
I need to be a vampyre
And I need to live a thousand years
And a thousand lives
Just to be able to read and scratch the surface
(I have no time in this life for things ugly and murderous)
There is barely time for things
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Juhan Puhm, 2022

I am going to live forever
Because what is the worst that can happen?
Juhan Puhm, 2022

Do I offend the Gods writing such things?
But what choice do I have?
One lifetime, even if it is long
Is not enough time
(there is no such thing as time)
Not enough time to take in everything
That is beautiful, amazing, incredible
Mysterious, unknowable (no matter how much one tries!)
Sand, insects, whales and trees and rain
And sauerkraut and mushrooms and figs
And you and me, and all of it
Inexplicable, incredible (I said that already)
Blows my mind!
Juhan Puhm, 2022

I am now in the past
And you can romanticize my existence
Juhan Puhm, 2022

I created my mother
Who begat me
Juhan Puhm, Jan 5, 2023

There goes the jester
There goes the Queen
The most wondrous sight you've ever seen
Arm and arm into the bliss
Radiant light and eternal mist

What paths estranged did both walk
What idle ramble did they talk
About the fisher, 'bout the seeker
About the reaper, about the teacher

"In palaces great did I reside"
"So did I", the joyous jester replied
In horse drawn coaches my Noble ride
Mine eyes I lifted to the sky

Held aloft, ne'er a wall
The dew was my pillow, the stars my call
It was my place to be over you all
And my place to be lowly and small
Juhan Puhm, September 8, 2022

Orange leaves and orange goldfish in the pond
It is hard to tell the two of them apart!
Juhan Puhm, 2022

Pivots in time and space
What is the image of thought?

Image sounds
Sound pictures
Juhan Puhm, 2023

Art can create but how can it destroy?
Can it destroy the audience, ideas, the artist?

My cat is good in craziness
At ripping apart the pages I write upon
And leaving scratches upon my hand
And blood upon the page
Juhan Puhm, February 3, 2023

Vacuum Cleaners (The Show)
First things relationships one and two bought
When moving in was a vacuum cleaner
Even though I had a perfectly good vacuum cleaner (both times)

The last time I saw relationships four and three
They both brought me (at different times of course)
Two blocks of white cheddar cheese

Strange how the universe works
I couldn't even make this up if I tried
Unless of course it is all a dream anyways!

Moving on, moving on, moving on!
The best cure for being stuck and drowning in the past
Is looking to the future
And new love!
Juhan Puhm, January 25, 2023

The words
"The Show"
Are written on a wine cork
That the cat is playing with
(so she doesn't destroy my notebook)
While typing out the previous poem
Juhan Puhm, February 3, 2023

As I feel the angry onslaught
Of my past two relationships
I wonder which Goddess
Is protecting me?
Heartfelt gratitude!
I await!
Juhan Puhm, January 30, 2023

You speak falsely and with guile when you say
"I called upon the forces of the universe and presto, one became available"
It is your wife Hestia (who you betray), that gave you your new heart
So you can come visit here and use me
(one who under any other circumstance you would never in your life
deign or see need to reconnect with)
to cover for you (though it took some time for me to figure that out) while
You visit and lead on one whose soul withers away, and body goes gaunt
and life drains away
Under the false hope and lies you present, year after year after year
Naively, foolishly, shallowly thinking that you will leave your betrayed wife
for a life with her.
Your false sham heart offends Calliope the Goddess of poetry

Just sayin', but who am I to judge and speak for a Goddess
Unless she bids me to do so in a poem
Juhan Puhm, February 3, 2023

Oh Oizys
You purge my soul
And I return unto the land of the living
And make offering unto you
Few, not enough praise you!
Ow! To the crazy playing cat
With its claws suddenly in my lower back
Playing with a toy mouse
While I sit on my bed
(Where is my eraser!)
The crazies!
Juhan Puhm, February 3, 2023

And really
All I thought at the end of the day
Is that it would be nice to have a child
Oh Eileithyia I call to thee!
Juhan Puhm, February 3, 2023

To go to the theatre
Must be ritual
Juhan Puhm, February 3, 2023

I feel the ghost in the night wandering around
Who blew his head off
I am sure he will be alright
Juhan Puhm, February 5, 2023

Tragedy is tragedy
As there is no other alternative
There is no walking away
There is no reclaiming the future
There is no rebuilding the lost past
And moving forward

Tragedy truly is an end
That can only end in death
Or exile and wandering the earth blindly at first
A soul lost, forlorn, tattered, betrayed, destroyed
A living ghost, a walking shade
Ask the ancient Greek Tragedists
Or Shakespeare

The Gods and Goddesses they speak
They condemn
Unless we rise to feats of super-human strength
And may our courage and resilience and determination
Please the Gods and Goddesses
To not crush us entirely

Damn it all!

Damn it all!
Sometimes there is no choice
But to fight fate
Whether the end result will be the same or not
And become gods of our own destiny
Or crushed like an ant

Do offerings bring peace
And appeasement satiated?

The Gods and Goddesses that dwell
In the pantheon of my mind!
Juhan Puhm, February 9, 2023

Are you sure your kindness
Isn't just a cruel form of revenge?
Juhan Puhm, February 9, 2023

Wow! what a year

I lost two cats
One died
The other went missing

I lost two relationships
One with rage destroyed my soul
The other slowly ripped my heart out

Oh! And I lost twenty pounds
Which is a good thing!
As I take the time to walk everywhere
And I have never been more healthy!
Juhan Puhm, 2023

Juhan Puhm, February 14, 2023

This blue cheese that I bought
That sings like a Rossini opera
Alters my perception of reality
Juhan Puhm, February 16, 2023

I bought a new bird feeder
With bright yellow perches!
Juhan Puhm, February 24, 2023

From the burnt and razed ground
After the smouldering smoke whisps no more
After the rains have washed away the ash
After the still white snow lain over the dead land
Springs in the Spring
The fragile sapling
It's rich new green leaves reflecting in the sun
Waving in the still cold breeze
Juhan Puhm, February 24, 2023

I had the funniest thought
Sixteen years ago when we met
I was single and you were married
Then we had fifteen lovely years
With ne'er a cross word
Now you are married again and I am single
Funny and strange how things go
Oh well, life goes on!
Juhan Puhm, February 27, 2023

I was thinking
Does anyone slice a banana on top of their steaming oatmeal?
Surely in the whole world
It must be someone's favourite way to eat oatmeal

The muesli I make has wheat germ and wheat bran
And oat bran and one minute oats
And whatever else I can find
Like nuts and pumpkin seeds
And raisins and dried cranberries and currants
I need to find figs and dried apricots

That muesli is totally awesome
At night with milk or also with a banana
And my muesli also doubles as my own morning oatmeal!

Hmmm? No more guessing and wondering

Yes sliced banana is very yummy on hot oatmeal!
(which actually also needs a little salt)
I wanted to try just the two together first
Next time I will also add a little maple syrup!
But it doesn't need it
It is lovely on its own!

And so there is at least one!
Who likes a banana sliced on top of hot steaming oatmeal!
Juhan Puhm, February 27, 2023

I sit on the park bench
Surrounded by snow
On the lookout
By the walking trail
Overlooking the frozen lake
Bathing in the almost full moonlight

Above the clear sky
Laden with stars
Orion and Pleiades
Still are making their way across!

It doesn't matter how big the universe is
All winter here I have heard
The soft tremolo of the Screech Owl
In the stand of pine trees
Cloaked in darkness
In the middle of the night
Juhan Puhm, March 6, 2023

Bathing in the full moonlight!
Bathing in the full moonlight!
Shining bright through tree branches
Creaking in cold blowing gusts
That come and go speaking high and low
All around in whisper and roar

Afar I hear the soft gentle tremolo
Of my night owl!
Juhan Puhm, March 7, 2023

Hello bluejay!
You have come this way again
Singing like a creaking hinge
Checking out last year's nest
On the mast
Suspended below
The overhanging roof
Juhan Puhm, March 9, 2023

Light snow on the ground
The air is cold
Sliced banana on steaming oatmeal
With a splash of maple syrup
Juhan Puhm, March 13, 2023

Nature abhors a vacuum cleaner
Nature has a built in vacuum cleaner

But not my first floor
Which I let go to be as natural as possible
But even so, every once in a while
I must vacuum
With all the dried leaves
Of potted plants and cobwebs
And dust and sand tracked in
As my students get squirrelly
Juhan Puhm, March 18, 2023

One More for Old Sam B.
Juhan Puhm, March 18, 2023

I am in love
With the logic
Of Language
Juhan Puhm, March 20, 2023

Oh boy I made it!
Time to plant some new seeds!
Juhan Puhm, March 21, 2023

There are twelve large trees in the park
Each unique unto themselves
I think I will spend some time getting to know them
Juhan Puhm, March 22, 2023

Even though there is no such thing as time
It's time!
Juhan Puhm, March 22, 2023

Hello sweetie
I love you
He said to the owl
Who tremoloed from the dark stand of pines
And after listening
And communing for a while
He felt incredibly sad
Walking away
Until he realized
That only now is the now
Juhan Puhm, March 24, 2023

Every time now I walk in the night
And don't hear my friend the owl
I am overcome with the deepest sadness
Juhan Puhm, March 27, 2023

I raked the lawn and flowerbeds today
Before the crocuses and new shoots come up
So I don't hurt and break them
In the leaves I found a broken key
Only a broken key can open a broken lock
Juhan Puhm, April 1, 2023

The full moon is mine tonight
Skirting above the tumultuous clouds
Roiling, churning north-east in the distance
Overhead the sky is clear with stars
The wind cool
The walk brisk
It is Maundy Thursday today
Juhan Puhm, April 6, 2023

Always such strange coincidences in my life
Began editing editions
Of Allegri's Miserere last week
Finished today during Holy Week
Fitting, moving
But odd and strange
The last candle can only remain
Hidden so long
Before it lights up the world again
Goodly words
Goodly words
Juhan Puhm, April 6, 2023

The past is dead
Juhan Puhm, April 9, 2023

The wire music holder
That fits on the electric piano
Separated and forgotten on the desk
Is used to search underneath
Finding "Mousie" the little stuffed mouse
That has been missing so long
And already has gone on its own adventures
Makes Ella my cat so vey happy
As Molly herself (also a cat) looks on!
Juhan Puhm, April 9, 2023

Mousie you disappear again for days on end
And for Ella I look high and low
Behind and under anything I can find
And you are nowhere to be found, anywhere
And then you reappear in the middle of the night
And play together with Ella for hours
So strange!
Juhan Puhm, April 14, 2023

The mind would have you believe
With assurance
Things that aren't there

What is that saying?
Juhan Puhm, April 24, 2023

Did the universe trick me
For its own ends?

(Which of course now are my new ends!)
Juhan Puhm, April 24, 2023

The leaves are coming out in the trees!
Soon all will be awash with green
Trembling in the breeze!
Juhan Puhm, April 24, 2023

The Myrtle warblers are back!
And the grebes and loons and mergansers and geese
And ducks and robins and cardinals and blue jays
And goldeneyes and buffleheads and cormorants
And I saw a healthy heron flying yesterday
Or at least they are passing through!
Juhan Puhm, April 24, 2023

A good way to get a girlfriend
Is to bake cookies
Can't see why that wouldn't work!
Juhan Puhm, April 24, 2023

Every day
The leaves in the trees
Come out greener!
It's raining Spring rain!
Juhan Puhm, April 30, 2023

Who is this powerful
Tall, long dark haired woman
I keep seeing an image of?
Do you bode well?
Or a chimera
(in both meanings of the word)
Boding ill
I have had enough crazy turmoil
In my life already
I seek peace and love
And the clarity of a new day
My birthday!
In more ways than one!
Juhan Puhm, May 2, 2023

In the forest one more time
Gathering wild leeks
Not pulled out from the roots
But cut just above
Soon the blackflies will be out

The Pileated woodpecker knocks his head
All day on the tree
And cries out his shrill cry

All is alive and dead
New leaves and shoots and buds
And rotting trees fallen over

The Trout Lily
With it's beautiful yellow flower
And the white and blood red Trilliums

A pair of Mourning Cloaks
Butterflies, flutterbys, loverbys
Play in the air

A royal blue beetley-bug
Rests on a dead leaf

Slowly the forest
Is filling with green

Later a pair of White-tailed deer
Frolic across the field
Juhan Puhm, May 6, 2023

Forgive me spider
For stepping on you (by accident)
It doesn't matter how broken my heart
It won't fix your crumpled frame
And I can't turn back time
And step more carefully
And remember that you were there
Such sad luck
Juhan Puhm, May 11, 2023

I've been eating lots of honey
I am becoming a bee
My ears are buzzing!
Juhan Puhm, May 12, 2023

Arrive lost radiant sun
Wandering dark night's empty paths
Wrought intangible mind align bright morn
Dawn folds away time

Now to itself
Breathes night's trembling light
Breathes morning's resplendent breeze

And dreams that hold no space at all
Zephyr of the ever present now

Of things in place displaced
Illusion of memory's recall

Thought in mind there is no time
Only to the eternal now, ta
Juhan Puhm, May 12, 2023

Barefoot in the sanctuary
The dandelions are up
And the trees are in bloom
It is 3 a.m. and I am trying
To coax my rascally cat
Down from atop
The steeped pitched roof
Of my neighbour's a-frame boathouse!
"Come on Ella, come on girl"
"Come on sweets, I am so tired!"
Juhan Puhm, May 16, 2023

You can't break
What is already broken
Though you can break it more
Juhan Puhm, May 17, 2023

It would seem to me
That we must be
The most complex thing
In the whole entire universe

It would be lovey to meet someone
Who isn't only interested in me
For my mind!
Juhan Puhm, May 24, 2023

The lovely pink pin-cherry blossoms
Fall to the surface of the pond
Wherein many worlds all are seen
The surface with its floating pedals
And beneath the slowly swimming goldfish
And the murky depth disappearing to the bottom
And the reflection the very pin-cherry tree and its blossoms
And the blue and white sky beyond
And beyond still the entire universe!
And the reality of all
The perceived layers
In my mind
However one may choose to see!
Juhan Puhm, May 24, 2023

It would seem to me
That I have spent
My whole entire life
Using the wrong end of a toothpick!

Madness and humour
Should go hand in hand!
Thanks Arthur Dent!
Juhan Puhm, May 24, 2023

Amazingly, all of a sudden
The trees are fully in leaf
Flowing, turning, waving in the breeze

I stand beneath the pin-cherry tree
As it drops its blossoms into the pond
A few blossoms twirl suspended
On invisible spider's threads

I try to take it all in
And look carefully at the delicate blossoming flowers
And the bees gathering pollen

Otherwise another year will pass
Before I will see this again
Before I will exerience once again
This (heart wrenching) singular beauty

But it is all too much to take in

My grandfather's last wish
Was to see a picture
Of a fruit tree in full bloom!
Juhan Puhm, May 25, 2023

I care about being successful too
I am just not going to let it get in the way
Of living my life
Juhan Puhm, June 18, 2023

Roses in the ditch
Stars in the dark sky
A rainbow in the rain
Juhan Puhm, June 19, 2023

Music and dancing!
Sandals in the rain
Thunder in the distance
Juhan Puhm, July 20, 2023

Being a vampyre
I know it is no good for me
But I can't resist
It's secret sin!
Juhan Puhm, August 9, 2023

Hammond Audio Transformer 834A
Turns Ratio 1 to 1.4
I found a mistake
In the Hammond tranformer catalogue
That had been there
At least 28 years!
It has been corrected now
Go figure!!
Juhan Puhm, August 14, 2023

Solarium, solarium, solarium
Everything under the sun
I guess!
Amplifier transformers!
Juhan Puhm, August 15, 2023

O Muse, O Muse
Within your coming
My songs flowed like water

O Muse, O Muse
Within your staying
All was destruction
Catastrophe and slaughter
Pure absolute madness

O Muse, O Muse
Within your leaving
Pain flowed like blood
Into storied stories

Such power of pure chaos and creation

And would you like to try again?

If ever even possible
To live life over once more
Juhan Puhm, August 23, 2023

Done with tragedies
Shipwrecks receding into the past
Lightning storms moving o'er the horizon

Fond memories of wild excitements

Throw one's self into the air
Two and a half miles above the Earth
And breathe in the endless expanse
Juhan Puhm, August 23, 2023

I was thinking
After two years of endless attrition
I really don't know
What there is left to connect on
Sundering worlds
I am sure you must agree
I could spill a litany
But really what's the point
Juhan Puhm, September 19, 2023

A Pear
The dried stigma at the bottom of the pear
Crumbles into black dust
At one time
This was a beautiful blossom
Now remains the nurturing fruit
And seeds of hope
And a stem
One can hang on to
Juhan Puhm, September 19, 2023

Have you seen the perfection of a mouse?
Juhan Puhm, October 7, 2023

I am blown on the winds of consciousness
Juhan Puhm, December 3, 2023

There once was a cat
Who had to go in and out
The end

You might find your lost story
At the store
The store has lots of stories
Juhan Puhm, December 3, 2023

I searched and searched
Through my bundle of rope
Trying to find the other end
Until I realized
That mine is an infinite string
With only one end
Or should I say, beginning!
Juhan Puhm, December 21 Solstice, 2023

A tree does
What a tree needs do

One day our body will fail us
It is a given

If our mind doesn't fail us first
Juhan Puhm, January 25, 2024

Even the broken ruined piano
Played in the plaza
In the dark dead of winter
Still has some music in it
Juhan Puhm, January 30, 2024

Our life is on shuffle
We never know
What is coming next!
Juhan Puhm, February 7, 2024